I have been vegan for nearly a week. Not too bad. The only complaint I have is the mundane meals. If I want a variety I have to cook. The relationship I have with cooking is this: I don’t mind cooking. I like it, maybe love it. However, I love other things more. I am making up new recipes, because cookbooks seriously aggravate me for some reason. There’s probably something in my subconscious. who knows. but yeah maybe I’ll share some. Actually her majesty is at the store getting food so I can cook. That is the other thing, I am not the worst cook either so unfortunately my mother knows this and is always urging me to cook and now she is getting wish. So yeah the cooking. Eh and I guess checking every single thing I eat to see if I can eat it. Needless to say, that is annoying. A lot of vegans say they cannot go out to eat with their friends because almost nothing is vegan. Welllll not exactly. I packed my very own vegan kit of non-perishables so that if I am out with people I am good. Seriously being vegan is not a joke. I mean it’s easy, but it’s not. blah. I’m too chill right now for an explanatory post on me being vegan.
Feeling emotionally explosive. All the emotions are seeping through my subconscious. I usually would go downstairs to the gym, but I am home so if I went downstairs here I would be underground. I have yet to blow up my fitness orb and I tried running around the house and almost fell over boxes because my living room has boxes everywhere and no lights. Not the smartest idea, but if I am being honest I don’t always think before I act. I am contemplating cutting my hair, but I cannot find my hair scissors. Which is probably a good thing since I tend to go crazy with my hair in this restless crazed state I am in. I need to do something, but I cannot. No transportation and I was about to go walking but I’m sure my mother would freak out. I’m sure she would not mind if someone would go with me, but let’s be real, no one is going to drive to my house to go walking with me.
I decided not to get married. Ever. So assuming in an alternate universe I am proposed to sometime in my alternate future, I say no to the idea in this reality. So the Engagement is off.
I opened my wedding binder. How embarrassing to admit this. That I had started making a wedding binder with all my fairy tale dreams and fantasy. I very much wanted to get married. I suppose if I am to be open minded that maybe I still do deep down in my subconscious. However as of now on the very clear surface of my minds waters I do not want to get married.
It was going to be such a beautiful wedding too. So simple, elegant, sophisticated and absolutely lovely.
Somewhere I really cannot say I fully do not want to be married, because I wanted to get married for quite sometime. However I can continue to live and keep an open mind.
Dreams have meaning no matter what. Whether it be on a subconscious level, a psychic phenomenon or even just your soul escaping this world and traveling to a different one. Sometimes I wonder if they actually mean anything though. Of course they mean something, but I ponder the outcome of having such dreams. How do I act differently? How does my day change from having had this dream? Are the people in my dream trying to send me signals in reality? Why am I dreaming about them? What does it all mean. I just want to know. I cannot find all of the symbolic meanings my mind has hidden from me. Is it meant to be that way? If so why am I hiding it from me? Can I one day gain enough control to have a lucid dream? Is there a way to enact the same dream with another person? If so what is maximum distance I can get to? Can I relay messages to others through dreams? I believe that all of this is possible. However I do wish to know HOW? WHEN? WHY? I want to know these answers to not only my future dreams but understand my past dreams. I want to know why I have dreams about you and him and her and them and then and there.